I’ve been selling cool used furniture for about a year and a half now. Anytime I start something new, I learn everything I can about it. Part of that, for me, entails following people on social media who are already achieving something similar.
One unexpected side effect of following these furniture and home decor accounts, even if, like me, you’ve never cared anything about style, interior design, etc, is that you begin to realize what kind of “aesthetic” you’re drawn to in a house or apartment.
Personally, I’ve learned that I get bizarrely excited about a very modern, minimalist design. Very few pieces of furniture, or, really, items at all, in a room. The furniture itself is beautiful but simple. Mostly blacks, whites, and clears with nothing ornate or fancy. Maybe a few strategically placed plants that don’t bring gnats with them. Man, even typing about it right now makes me feel peaceful.
As I landed on that aesthetic, a routine formed in my mind of going to bed and waking up every day with every surface in the house being clean and void of items. Desks, tables, and dressers serve only the purposes they’re designed for and not as a convenient place for misfit objects.
But there’s a problem with this aesthetic in my life, I have two young, incredibly high-energy daughters.
The reality is that those surfaces are covered with things less than an hour after they’re cleared, and that once they’re already cluttered, I lose interest in maintaining the aesthetic and contribute to the mess myself.
It took me a while to realize it, but what I was doing was idealizing a home of someone with whom I probably have very little in common. And, actually, not even their home, but the highlights of their home. The moments they chose to share on social media with the world.
Now, maybe some of these people do indeed keep their homes that way 8,760 hours each year, but for most, I doubt it.
They probably chose not to post the time their baby threw poop nuggets from her diaper for amazing distances all over the room. They likely didn’t want to share on their beautifully curated Instagram page the time the cat shredded the curtains for some forever unknown reason.
But let’s just give them the benefit of the doubt here. Let’s say this person’s home does, incredibly, look this way all the time. The difficult truth is that that’s not my life. Maybe it can be one day, but not right now.
Right now, I’m trying to be a good husband and daddy, build two businesses, maintain my own spiritual and physical health, contribute meaningfully to my church, and get some semblance of a decent night’s sleep so I can do it all again.
And no matter how many times a day my wife and I clean up, that will not be our home right now.
And it shouldn’t be. Because all of these other things are far more important.
My point here is to stop idealizing someone else’s life.
If you’re doing this with your fitness levels, take everything i've said and multiple it by at least 10.
Let me give you a little peek behind the scenes of the fitness industry:
What you see: Images of a person with your dream body.
What’s actually happening: A person with impeccable genetics (and possible performance enhancing substances) is standing in perfect lighting, from their best angle, flexing but trying to look like they aren’t. Then, when some spots don’t look just right, they sometimes add a few subtle photoshop edits to the photo before posting.
You see that, you instantly compare yourself, you become discouraged, and you make no fitness progress, because what’s even the point?
Read this slowly: That person does not look like that in real life. And, even if they’re one of the very few who do, you’re not them. And you shouldn’t try to be. You’re very likely crushing some aspect of life that they are totally failing at.
Unfollow these accounts if you need to. Become laser focused on what YOUR goals actually are right now, and take the steps that get you closer to them. Even if they’re tiny, crawling steps on all fours. Even if you’re dragging your dead weight behind you.
If you need help with this, I’m here. Messaging is a really simple step. Not always easy, but simple.
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